should write it yesterday, but I could not understand what happened. I can not continue, total abstraction. seemed absurd to me his father's words sent the phone. "Grandma is dead." like this? surely I was with her yesterday, surely it was already better, stroked me on the hand. already we had to get rid of all the machines which I was surrounded. on the other hand, as is possible! surely not said goodbye with her yesterday, not happened. not possible, I can not do that. carefree truancy, my laziness tended to peak, and there she died poor. without me. without my farewell, without holding the hand. not even cried at these words. I boarded a train, I went to Wrzeszcz, I boarded a bus and ended up outside the hospital in a snowdrift. large, old building, and in it so it is with your hair as if she slept bialutkimi. I hugged my mother weeping weeping, and I though I absent otulalam arm. I do not know if I have enough strength to support it, and now she needs it most. at home I made myself a cup of coffee, so ugly I do not know, and still drank it. I was standing with a cigarette in one hand, coffee in the other, pressing the sheep who got the stuffed animals from me on the day of the child. "Because now that you're an adult Karolisiu and I'm a child, you have to take care of me," I do not know what the soba do now. even this stupid tattoo! I had promised myself to do it as just going to live, lest it was that getting a tattoo in remembrance .. and what? and I could promise myself, now too late. too late for him, a good-bye which should take place on Wednesday, too late for the promised car ride to the lake, too late for so many things about which you talked.
I can not understand it, please wake me and tell me it's just a nightmare.
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